I Am Your Star Captian

My love for the boy bands of K Pop may have just been replace with the hip hop/ rap “artists” of K pop. Drunken Tiger eats children like Big Bang for breakfast. He’s not even good looking, but he can cuss up a storm and the chains; Chains are badass. He's so sexy. Also, my boss really likes Drunken Tiger. I wish I could post a picture of my boss so that you would all know how super this is. He’s a small man who smiles a lot.

Last Friday I was invited to some real hot yoga with some friends at a jjimjilbang. I met them at their hagwon, only about 20 minutes from me. We walked into the market area and then turned into what seemed liked a random building in the market, the jjimjilbang. This being only my second jjimjilbang experience, I was a little apprehensive. After paying my 7000₩ and collecting my clothes and towel we walked into roomful of naked women. Quickly changing into the jjimjilbang clothes, I was warned to remove my regular bra (I brought my sports bra) and underwear (commando!) because the sweat was going to intense (and it was). We climbed the stairs out of the lady area and into the common area. I was once again amazed at the calm atmosphere of the common area. The lights are kept low. There are many people sleep or quietly chatting with friends. A number of people were watching Boys Over Flowers reruns on the big TV. There a few people in the massage beds and on the massage chairs. It all just looks so comfortable and relaxing. All the women are in pink, all the men are in blue and all the children are in red. It is like utopia. This jjimjilbang also had two restaurants in the common room, giving you more than just ramyeon and hard-boiled eggs to snack on.

We started we in the sauna that was 70°c. I got a little light headed as soon as I walked in the scorching heat and I started sweating immediately. We stared with a few way poses and stretches. It quickly go to be too much for me, so of you may know that don’t handle intense heat to well. I’m so weak. I managed to make it the first break without being too passy-outy, we got some water and relaxed than went back in. I had to get out a little bit before the second break. Then we hung out in the cold room for bit and went to the 50°c sauna, a few more poses and break. Then we went to the salt sauna and hug out in the salt. We lay down in the in the sat rocks. Apparently they are supposed to draw out the seat even more, which was good because I wasn’t totally drenched in sweat already. I have never actually been sweater or smellier in my life. There was not a single dry spot on my clothes. The sweat was dripping for face and even my arms were all beaded with sweat. It was kind of cool. WE back to the 50° sauna and finished up our yoga. The whole process took about two hours. After the yoga part was over, I had to prepare myself for the naked part.

Back in the change room, I purchased the necessary shampoo, conditioner, and soap (there were many choices for each) and bravely descended the stairs in to the shower room. I took a deep breath and I walked into the shower room and was confronted with many a naked ajumma. I suddenly felt considerably less intimidated. I chose a spot to remove my clothes and timidly started pulling them off. Once the clothes actually came off, it wasn’t so bad. Everybody was naked and I was with a group of foreign folk so I wasn’t a freak show alone. I found a shower spot and stared to shower. No problem, expect when I almost bumped into two girls trying to share shampoo. No touching well naked! After showering, I spent some time in a hot tub with some very strategically placed jets and then in the bigger cold pool. It was lovely to be naked and fully immersed in cool water. I imagine that it would much like skinny-dipping but without the risk. I guess not as fun, but still pretty good. I have never been skinny-dipping.

Finally, it was time to scram. Amber and I had to meet Sally in Hyehwa to see public enemies. Because I’m a bad friend, we were already two hours later than expected. We left at a good time though, because plenty of attractive young folk were coming pouring inside. Jjimjilbang are a popular safe place for the youngish of Korea to hang out with friends of both sexes. They will often stay for night or late into the night, along with the drunken businesses people* who have missed the subway home.

I liked Public Enemies, but it was kind of bummer. I don’t like when movies make me all sad.

A small gym update because I work out everyday now. No jokes. In two weeks I have only missed three days, which includes two Sundays and the Friday that I did hot yoga at the jjimjilbang. We picked a good gym because it is never busy, which is especially good because if there are ten people in there if feels really crowded. It’s a small gym. There is one older man that walks on the treadmill in sandals. A younger guy who walks alone for a long time but very quickly on the treadmill. There a couple of young guys that don’t some to do much except sit and chat with each other. They occasionally take breaks to pretend to lift some weights. There are a couple of older ladies that could kick my butt with both hands tied behind their backs. They wear gloves when they use the weight machines, not to be sanitary, but to be tough. They scare me. There is only sweaty body builder who likes to look at himself in the mirros during and between lifing sessions. He also grunts a lot. There is one younger girl who seems to have never learned that she should wear a bra while working. Sports bra, regular bra, any bra. She also likes to be naked in the change room to show off her hot body to Sally and I.

Last Saturday, Song Min’s (the trainer) family visited. He doesn’t look very old but he is already married and has two adorable little children. The younger one is pretty much brand new, and the older one, a little boy, is literally just a tiny Song Min. They were trying to play squash for a while. It was cute. Yesterday, Song Min was wearing really tiny shorts. They kind of made me uncomfortable but I just couldn’t look away. He showed us the bicep curl machine. Today I could barely lift my arms above my head. I’m so weak.

*I have had to teach many a unit about “jobs”. I try to make an effort to teach politically correct and non-gender specific titles to the children. However, the books don’t like to help on this one. I end up teaching waitress, waiter, businessman, stewardess, etc. What I want to teach is server, flight attendant, businessperson, etc. It is frustrating to teach them bad stuff, but it would also be very confusing for them if I deviate too much from the book. Also, I try hard, when playing “the action game”, to make sure that boys have to be nurses sometimes, too. They always fight me, but I always make them do it or sit down.

More about teaching... recently I have been coming down really hard on kids for speaking too much Korean in class (mostly because they make jokes about me that I can't understand) and I have made many rules about no Korean in class. Every time I yell at them for speaking Korean I have this horrible sensation of guilt and I all I think about is residential schools and how am participaiting in the destruction of Korean culture. I am basically a really bad teacher and a bad person, but I have been making it up to them in the past week by playing a lot of games. I am trying to be chill teacher not angry teacher. I find this to be exceedingly difficult.